2013- New Blog,New Year

Happy new year :D! 

I am starting a new blog because I've lost the other one somehow!

I hope you had a nice Christmas  I did.  I got the most amazing handbag but I'm scared to take it out because I know that me being me, I will leave it somewhere.   

I loved Christmas apart from the Doctor Who Christmas special.  That ruined my day.  I am a complete Tennant (ten inch ;) ) fan and Matt Smiths tiny face annoys the hell out of me.  I just can't bear watching Matt Smith as Doctor Who, it actually makes me cringe.   On that note I am downloading every episode of Torchwood I can get this January.  I love Torchwood.  If it was real it would be my dream job to work there.    Talking of all the 'nerd' stuff, my little sister AJ wants us to 'play Minecraft together, get a server and make YouTube videos as a sister team'.  Pigs will fly.  

Hottest man of 2012 award:
This is the only award I have time to give.

I'm sure at some point I was compiling an extensive and well researched list of the hottest men of 2012 with my friend Tracey but lets face it, this guy will always win in our books:

Robin VanPersie

We love him here in Woods-Gray towers, and he is looking mighty fine now he has grey hair BUT there is somebody else....

Desmond Harrington

Des is hot. Him and VanPersie take joint first in my books.  I love Dexter and he plays Det. Joey Quinn in the show. We even get to see him topless a couple of times through the seasons!  He is knee tremblingly hot, I would give up my entire salary for a year for a chance to meet him.  I'd love to be an extra on Dexter and let him frisk me then slap a pair of handcuffs on me.   

Anyway that's enough of the perving.  It's weird that people say 'men are perverts' yes they are but us women are a LOT worse, anyone who thinks it's just men who peruse the scenery have obviously never met me and my friends.  

2013 stands to be a potentially great year for me.   IF and this is a big if, I can get down to my previous size 8 I will start modelling again in the summer.  Right now I'm a 10/12 and happy in my own skin but I do love modelling but there are two big problems: my huge boobs and massive bum.  Even when I'm a size 8 I still have DD/E boobs and a sticky out bum and high fashion does not accommodate that.  I essentially can either get into topless glamour modelling or do some more alternative modelling.  Alternative it is, I do not want to end up a drug addled mess like my old partner who now poses completely naked because she's not wanted for anything else.   I don't know how she does it! I'd just about die if someone took a picture of my vagina,  I start blushing if someone sees me in my underwear ffs.

It also stands to be an amazing year because I'm going to be a godmother! The baby is due in April and we haven't been told the gender yet but I have been chosen as the godmother and they've chosen a bit of alright to be godfather.  I am so honoured and really looking forward to it. And of course I'm already planning what to wear.  I'm thinking a Tanya Turner christening-Grecian Style dress, without the drama of a Footballers Wives christening   

2013 will also be great because I've just got back into contact with one of my friends in Bethnal Green.  That means lots of wild nights in London and pie and mash.  I know I always write about this but I LOVE pie and mash.  (G Kellys best pie and mash in East London) and finally I have an interview lined up to do some voluntary work with disabled children and as an appropriate adult.  I really cant wait!!  It's always been a dream of mine to do some work with disabled children and they should be able to fit it in around work :D  

That's all the good news out the way, now time for some rambling.  

 I have very nearly saved enough to go on my food tour of America.  I watch lots of Man vs Food and the idea of trying some of the challenges has really seduced me.  I've been told Nebraska is the place to go for a steak so will probably go there first.  I can't wait to try some Latin-American street food and some huge-ass crab claws. and the puddings, jeez louise, Banoffee Pie, cheesecake  Yum.  I'm gonna get so fat.

Now I promised I'd do this ages ago:

Things you probably don't know about me

I used to play tennis at a serious level and came second in a county tournament. I also occasionally play football for a girls team. 
I stand on the Terraces at football because I like kicking off and getting pissed with the lads.


If you play COD online with me and I'm beating you, its usually me roping someone in to play for me. I can't get my head around that game. 


I'm actually cripplingly shy but when you get to know me i don't ever shut up. 
My favourite colour is pink. I never admit it because it could ruin my 'ladette' credentials but I love the colour. My bedroom is a pink palace. 


I'm a massive pervert. I spend most of my life perving footballers, boxers and Calvin Klien models. 


I have a real thing for hairy men. I don't know why but they make me feel all primal and horny. 


I'm a total bookworm. My house is filled with books


I actually understand the offside rule!!!


I am rubbish at darts. Never EVER ask me to play it. I lost a very good friend once when during a game of darts it flew in the wrong direction and landed in his arm. A trip to hospital and a row later, we never spoke again. 


I'm a fully qualified Paralegal.(a legal secretary who also handles their own small cases)


I'm a bloody good cook, I just pretend I can't cook incase someone expects me to cook. 


I can't stomach Goldshlager or Sambuca. One sniff and I chunder. 


The girl who got completely naked and ran up Brixton highstreet for a bet? That was me. The girl who also challenged a lesbian to a stripping contest and also won then got beaten up by her. I love being naked, especially when I've just got out of the shower.   The girl who threw up into a fishbowl in Malia, and threw it at some guy who was macking on her.  Also me.  





Now that's out of the way,  I've been speaking to the girls a lot recently about our 'perfect guy' and I've finally decided on mine.  Mine would be someone who can make me laugh, show me new experiences and new things and also treat me like a princess and be romantic. The right mix of chilling and having fun.  Preferably dark haired and hairy  who wears Calvin Kleins and smells good. You can't beat a nice smelling guy.  I also want him to open me up, ahem, sexually. Show me new things, throw me round the room a bit...  Surprise me randomly and someone who likes football is a must.  So there you go, it's there in black and white.  

Finally I must write about Bailey.  Bless his soul.  The 15th of March is going to be a very hard day.  I've booked it off work and I am getting a tattoo and sloping off by myself for a bit.  I have a feeling that a needle will hurt much less then losing him did.  I'm going to be a mess. I'm saving up to get a bench put in Crystal Palace park in memory of him.  I had so much fun there as a child and it's my favorite place to go and think about him.  Might do the whole sky lantern thing too.  It still a sore subject but I'm getting there slowly.   If you're reading this please take a moment to send some love to him.    

I wont blog for a while as I'm quite busy at the moment. but I am having a very belated birthday party on Saturday so no doubt can come back with some more tales.  When I go back home to London my hair gets let right down! It's gonna be messy

N x