The Nim guide to coping when your spouse goes to jail

Firstly, and most importantly put that mobile away. Stop checking it every five minutes hoping he's called! he is in jail right now probably hoping he doesn't drop the soap or admiring his sexy new grey prison issue tracksuit, not just out on the town with his mates.  

This is the part I'm finding hardest.  I don't know what's going on, if he's ok.  I knew he had court at half 8 it is now half 10 and I've heard nothing...  I think it's natural to keep checking your phone for some sort of correspondence from him but you're gonna get NOTHING.  His phone is neatly sealed in a zip-lock bag along with all his other worldly possessions.   Ok, I'm a big fat liar I just ran upstairs to check my phone.  At this rate I'm going to have a nervous breakdown.  

On another note do NOT phone the police station and swear repeatedly at the person on the phone when they give you no information. It turns out they don't take to kindly to it and start muttering things about arresting you too.  Maybe I should have withheld my number.

Being a prison WAG isn't as cool as it looks on the TV. 

 I have a couple of friends who've done long stretches, a couple who've just been held in custody and an ex who spent two years in Pentonville before he got with me.  I never took it seriously before, enjoying the stories about prison but never really worrying.  It's a whole different kettle of fish when it's your man inside.  Suddenly you find yourself up at 3 in the morning googling stupid blogs searching desperately for a magic cure to the emotions you're feeling right now.   I'm a classic example of this sat here with makeup smeared over my face, my hair in what I can only describe as a birds nest writing one of these stupid blogs.   

On TV the spouse is always standing like a faithful Labrador in the custody reception waiting for their jailbird partner to stride sexily through the foyer towards them, free of charge and ready to go home.  Turns out if you rock up to a police station and try to do that in real life you get removed by three officers and told never to return.   

And if your spouse is charged and sent to prison, oh lord are you in for a surprise.  On TV you always see the missus arriving at visiting time, having a quick search and then running up to her spouse and then kissing each others faces off and slipping him a few grams of his favorite drug.  Then when they say visiting time is up the missus always stands up and starts shouting 'NOOOOO' and then is removed from the prison.  If you do that in real prison you get a lifeban from visiting.

DO NOT GET DRUNK

Trust me girl crying in bed with a bar of chocolate is your best bet right now.  My first instinct was to hit up the Rose and progress onto pints of vodka.   Then I remembered my man wouldn't be around to collect me from town and make sure I got home safe and I had a mini meltdown.  Then I remembered, Alcohol makes you more emotional. Alcohol makes you cry.  And the image of me crying on some poor stranger in the pub with snot dripping out my nose made me turn round and go home.

It's ok to cry

Just before my man got taken to jail I remember feeling sad.  A mix of sorrow, guilt, depression, and just overwhelming despair that this is happening.  We then had a mini row with him saying 'why are you being like this it's not you this is happening to'... well duh yeah it is, you're the most important man in my life and I'm trying to console you, while dealing with my emotions and trying to comfort you.  It's ok to cry and feel stressed, in fact I recommend it.   I do suggest changing your phone wallpaper to a picture not to do with him because I have the most gorgeous picture of my man as my wallpaper and every time I'm crazily checking my calls I see his face smiling back at me and it makes me cry a tin bit.  He has now been replaced with a picture of a kitten.

Prepare to be woken up by a total bitch at 7am asking if you'd like to speak to your spouse.

I work evenings.  I do NOT EVER wake up before 9am.  So this morning my phone rings waking me up from a dream about a zombie invasion with all kinds of cool guns and shit.  I was just about to kick some zombie ass, so that's enough to put you in a bad mood.  When I answered some woman said 'Hello I have Al here he would like to speak to you, Is that ok?'  I was half asleep, my throat was dry and sore and she sounded far away and sort of distorted. I wasn't sure if I was dreaming so I said 'yeah that's fine' then she said 'Ok I'm going to put you on hold and then put you through ok?' and I replied 'yes!'  then she rudely half shouted 'I'm going to put you on hold and then put you through IS THAT OK' again and I rudely half shouted back 'yes!'
.  Then I spoke to Al and he sounded like a robot, I wanted to cry and then just as I was saying I loved him and good luck the bitch cut the line.  


List of dos:

• Dance round the living room in your pants because you can now your spouse isn't here
• Buy SHEDLOADS of chocolate
• Watch chickflicks
• Enjoy control of the TV remote for once
• Avoid oportunist perverts and creepers
• Sing along to your music in privacy and pretend you're in a musical
• Talk to friends.  This is so important.  I am withdrawing from all my friends because I am so miserable but if your spouse goes down for a long time friends will be all you have
• Take time for you, get your nails done. Go for a walk, Go for lunch. Have a hot chocolate ith shed loads of cream and marshmallows
• Go to work, work is going to be so therapeutic today
• Buy loads of things he doesn't allow you to buy usually; Hello new heels!
• Sing in the bath
• Do the Single Ladies dance round the kitchen.  Trust me you will feel so much better 
• Delete his episodes of Top Gear and footy matches off the SKY+ (to be later blamed on the cat when your spouse gets home)
• HAVE FAITH.  He will only have to serve HALF of his sentence he is given and will be home soon

List of donts:

• No flirting with his best friends/ cousins/ dad/ uncle/ or anyone.  You are still a taken lady, lady!
• Have a crazy fit 
• Get drunk, high on any sort of drug or commit suicide.  He IS coming home
• Talk to any pf the opportunist perverts
• Scream that there is a rat in your kitchen to remember he isn't there to save you, then discover the 'rat' was actually a soft toy....
• Stop showering or shave your hair off
• Worry that he is getting bummed in the showers or stuck in a sewer whilst trying to make his daring escape from prison... this just happens in films
• Worry that he isn't coming back, he is
• Do your 'Butt like a Brazillian' workout in the lounge with the curtains open when the window cleaner is due round.  That is one way to ensure you will never make eyecontact with the window cleaner again.  

So anyway, I hope this has been helpful, maybe even made you smile and remember HANG IN THERE xx

Nimmy xx

Two freaking magpies

General crap: 

I'm all recovered now from my illness if not still slightly dehydrated.  That was rough as hell, I couldn't get out of bed and when I eventually could I couldn't walk more then a few steps without feeling like I'd been drinking drinking petrol.



Something really, really horrible happened to me a couple of months ago and I lost a lot of blood again but luckily I was on a week off from work and had my fiancee there to console me, well console each other really.  I'm having investigative surgery to find out why this has happened a second time and then a really simple operation under local anesthetic.  After a couple of days I should be back to work which is great as what I hated most about being ill is all that laying around in bed, I love to dance and not dancing for ages really pissed me off.   The physical scars have healed it's just these emotional ones that are killing me the most.  I know I have the rest of my life but now I have two huge holes in my heart and the pain wont go away.



Ladies I suggest getting yourself a PROPER bra fitting.  I'd been wearing a modest 32FF bra from M+S for ages now but I was having constant back pain and neck pain and on a myriad of painkillers for the pain.  Then, whilst on holiday I popped into a proper bra shop for a new bra and came out with a 28K measurement.  My new bra is fanbloodytastic, no more back pain, no more neck ache.  The girls are firmly supported. No more spilling out.  The nice lady told me that bra shops will just give you a wrong size so you buy from THEIR selection of bras. So the chick who told me I was a 32FF could obviously see I wasn't going to fit into one of their bras in my actual size.  I'm loving Figleaves and Bravissimo for the big booby ladies and Freya's S/S 2013 underwear is sooo pretty.  



I'm also so excited because I'm off to Amsterdam for my birthday with the most magik magic man in the world and a few others.  It's gonna be banging to put it bluntly in London terms.  



So what I really wanted to blog about was family. I thought I had a pretty good case when it came to crappy parents.  As you grow up you learn to just laugh at it and not let it affect you as much.  The alcoholic mother HAHA!  The deadbeat father who doesn't even know when my birthday is, hasn't spoken to me since January and used to sell Coke with a 3 year old me and a 6 yr old cousin in the flat, bloody hilarious!!  Haha just remembered the time he left me locked in his van for 4 hours while he went a shagged his girlfriend.  ROFL.   But that was until I met Ally's parents.  Jesus christ.  

The family is fit for Jeremy Kyle.  First he has the spiteful, twofaced, conniving sister with a motormouth and extreme maturity issues.  Brothers who avoid him because of his mothers craziness. and a stepmother who thinks she's a size 8 celebrity when really she is extremely overweight, bitchy as fook, and the entire family can't stand her.  Members of his extended family all shagging like rabbits, changing partners as often as they change their pants.  but worse then that is his mum and dad... hmm I can't decide which is worse but I'm thinking his mother so I will start with his dad.  His dad found a new gf and left poor little Al without a clue where his dad had gone, used to drink drive them home from days out, spent all his access days in the pub,  beat him up so badly that he was arrested,  some much other stuff that I don't want to say for privacy reasons but his dad is a prize pillock.  He has more money then sense and more chins then a Chinese phonebook (sorry I couldn't resist)  He seems to have forgotten his other kids and only cares about the two he's got now.  He doesn't deserve to call himself a father. He's more of a sperm donor and the way he treats AL is disgusting.  Allan has reached out and forgiven him so many times and Al's dad doesn't seem to remember this.

Ok here is the big one, his mum.  Would you toss your kid out in the snow with no coat? Make false allegations to the police because you're in a bad mood about criminal damage YOU inflicted yourself then blame it on your kid?  Treat all your kids like shit and constantly put your new bit of cock before them?  Give your own kid a serious complex and selfesteem issues? Never encourage them or support anything they do?  Yet more I can't say for privacy reasons but it makes my blood boil, I'm suprised Al has turned out how he has with those two for parents.  They do NOT deserve him.  Somehow he's managed to turn out OK.  His parents make mine look like saints.   I just hope he has a long, happy life away from them and doesn't let it affect him.  



That's enough about that.  Is anybody going to any festivals this year?  I'm thinking of Outlook in Croatia...



There is some happy news in my life though :D gonna write a blog about that later though because I need to choose a dress etc and I wanna blog about the dresses and colour schemes etc.



Had some bad luck recently and everyday I've been seeing just one single solitary magpie.  Bastards. I'm not superstitious about magpies until recently.  Life has just collapsed for everyone around me, seems like everyone is suddenly on the brink of collapse. So this morning I open my back door and see TWO magpies sitting on my shed, then suddenly the phone rings upstairs, the moneys been paid, the case has been dropped, I've got a job interview and the problems seem to suddenly be lifting.  

Those sneaky bastard magpies f***ing my shit up.  

Dutty Weekender. Allan Schmore.

I look like I'm on drugs. I must do! I can't stop smiling and gazing out the window. Ive only gone and got myself a boyfriend. 

When he came up to me he looked so bloody nervous and he'd got me a Lindt (my fave chocolate) Easter egg. I was tempted to say something like 'I'm lactose intolerant you prick' for a laugh but he looked so nervous I just kept quiet. This is how good this guy is, he knew my fave chocolate without me even telling him. 

We just get on too well. Known each other 3 years and he is definately something special. He even rejected the chance to go out to a family meal, just to talk to me and make sure I was ok on what would have been my babys due date. Nobody else bothered and I'll never forget what he did for me that day. He is stupidly caring too and I don't know how to take it!! 
He's always telling me to get to bed or take some time for myself or to look after myself. He even made sure I drank water to keep hydrated and went out of his way to make me feel safe and loved. Where I've never had it before I loved every second it just makes me feel like I don't know what I'd do if I had that in my life everyday! Probably turn into a spoilt brat.

He treats me like a princess and is always stroking my hair or doing that thing where they tuck your hair behind your ear *melts* full of suprises, but the nice kind lol. Ok thats enough gushing for now lol. 

I brought some bright pink flowery bag with me and he just kept carrying it for me despite the fact it was heavy and he kept getting funny looks from people. What a true gent. I don't think I ever even had to hold a door open for myself or buy myself a drink. He even got up in the middle of the night to get me a glass of water. True chivalry!!!

He is facking fit as feck. Seriously, he does not photograph well. He looks hot in photos but in real life....damn. I keep pinching myself. I do not attract attractive guys but this handsome article must've slipped through the net. And he's mine. All mine. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA lol. I am not gonna lie, I actually patted myself on the back. Looks aren't everything but theyre a welcome bonus. Dat ass... his skins so soft.... he's so manly......and his arms... and he smells gorgeous, he was wearing Calvins and dark jeans too, I love dark jeans!

 

His personality is immense. We've known each other 3 years and we agreed that if it didn't work out romantically we would still be best mates. I've known him for so long I couldn't imagine my life without him in it. We are like carbon copies of each other. We've liked each other for over 3 years and I'm ready to admit, I even wanted him when I was with my ex but we cooled it off during that time. It makes me cringe now looking back to a few months ago when we would be asking each other for advice on other guys and girls and sex things when deep down we both knew who we wanted. Well I did anyway. 

A long time ago we were going to get together but it didn't work out because he chose drugs and partying and I chose alcohol and a rebound relationship. I don't think either of us was ready and we both kept a low profile for a while, until one day we started speaking again and it was like we'd never been apart. We'd both grown up and learnt more about ourselves and it all started back up from there. 

He just makes me laugh. We had a proper dirty weekend featuring a hotel with bogeys on the wall and jizz on the carpet, copious amounts of food and booze and he even carried my heels home for me lol. 

I just love the way he builds my confidence everyday, showering me with love and compliments. He can see just how low I am because he is in the same place. 

He looks at me like I'm the only girl in the world and like he can't believe his luck and he was so nervous. 

Look, straight up. I've been in love with this guy for a couple of years to be honest. Unrequited love and to say we are finally together is the most amazing feeling in the world. We are fighting depression together while trying to overcome difficult childhoods and he just understands. He is so gentle and patient yet puts me in my place when I need scraping off the ceiling. He helped me through my miscarriage in a way nobody else could. We are the same person, literally. Same hairline and everything. Now we are together I'm determined to make this work. I want to build a life with him. I don't know if you believe in fate and soulmates? But we do.

 
I have only two complaints about him. He lives too far away :'( and his willy is too big!!! 

I'm a lucky girl ;) 

Nimsical

I've been asked to do a fashion blog so here it is for little Loz :) 

I just looked through my wardrobe and realised I am very strange in the fashion stakes. I have a very individual sense of style and love flowy dresses in floral prints and am rarely seen out of a pair of superhigh heels. However, all my clothes like jeans and Tshirts are from Primark and H+M but where I spend so much time chilling in my pjs they all designer such as Ted Baker, Donna Karen, Chanel... I even have an Oscar De La Renta nighty somewhere under the piles of clothes in my room. Cray. 

My motto when dressing myself for the public eye is curves, class and curves. My motto for chilling in my pjs is don't brush your hair and just chill :)  

 Ok so my much requested top 5 beauty products:

 NIVEA EXPRESS HYDRATION PRIMER: I have really good skin (watch me break out now!!) So rarely wear foundation or concealer but when I do, I use this underneath as it sticks your makeup on like glue! I usually wear this when I go out raving or to work as my promogirl alterego Frankie and it keeps my makeup looking perfect even when I'm drenched in champagne and sweat.  

 KIKO PLUMPING LIP CREAM. I often get asked if I've had lip injections when I wear this. My lips are all genetics but this product is great it makes your lips so full and kissable due to the huge amounts of collagen in it. It's so expensive but I never leave home without it :) 

 BENEFIT CHACHA TINT. its a mango tinted lip and cheek tint that literally suits everyone. It's so easy to slap on and it lasts all day. I spent a day at a food and drink festival and my lip colour was still going strong after several hours. 

 WATER. I don't know about you but if I don't drink enough water my appearance all goes a bit Pete Tong. 8 glasses a day is essential!! 

MAYBELLINE ROCKET VOLUME MASCARA:  This mascara is the one you've been waiting for, just try it.  When I wear it people think I have falsies on

More fashion ramblings to come in a new separate blog :) 

Oh my days I am so broody! 

I've woken up today and all I can think about is babies, they're everywhere! I just want one sometimes, ok a lot of the time.  

 My best friend is desperate for a baby with her bloke so I'm getting constant updates on her monthly cycle and texts saying things like 'fuck yes, I'm ovulating, time to ride Lee like Seabiscuit' <<<< No really, I genuinely got sent that.  

 Plus a close friend is due any day now with a little boy and an innumerable number of other friends are preggers too. Sigh  

 I really miss having a little baby bump :-/  

 I did love being pregnant lol. I did look all sort of glowy and radiant and I've been told, very sexy. I didn't think guys dug pregnant chicks? 

Anyway, I suppose children is something I've always wanted to happen to me. Everybody always tells me I'll be a good mum and I get on unbelievably well with children. I'm the magic one who can stop a tantrum/crying before it even starts and I've worked in nurseries etc. I just know I'd be great at it!  

 I used to suffer from a hormone deficiency and anemia and have had a miscarriage so there are some worries about fertility but nothing is set in stone. I'm having my blood hormone levels tested again on Tuesday because now they think Im producing too many hormones . The only positive is that the Phlebotomist knows how much I hate needles so always gives me a party ring biscuit afterwards :) but being told 'your fertility may be fucked' is not nice in the slightest. I have a really positive feeling that all will be ok though :)  

 Oh yeah! THREE people with psychic capabilities who have never spoken to each other, told me I will have twins last week. Once is spooky, twice a coincidence?, three times is to hard to ignore lol. Could you imagine me trying to juggle twins in my 6 inch heels? Me neither. If it is true I hope they're not identical, I think identical twins are pretty scary, like dwarves, if a dwarf ever tried to rob my house while I was in it I'd just hand everything over. 

Omg identical twin dwarves..... :O 

No offence to any dwarves or identical twins who may be reading this, I just had a very scary experience with a dwarf when I was a child and since then I've always been wary,  and at school there were these two identical twins who used to speak in unison and fix you with a blank stare, scary stuff.  

Writing this blog has made me realise something. I used to want the lifestyle you know the huge house, sports cars, a job as a career woman somewhere.

But that all changed when I found out I was pregnant, I literally grew up in a split second and realised what I truly want in life . Those with children will know exactly the moment I mean and those without children, trust me, the day you look over at your Mrs and it dawns on you that she's carrying your baby in her belly or as a woman when you look in the mirror for the first time after seeing a positive result on a test you will get that feeling and suddenly realise. 

But all I really want is to go away from everyone, get married and have a nice little house by the sea!

I could never be with someone who didn't like the sea! My uncle has told me to have sex with my new bloke in the sea for some kind of freaky-deakey sexual experience.  I'm down for that but hearing it from your uncle is a little bit awkward! I hope he doesn't ask for a blow by blow account and all the gory details, if the sex on the beach thing happens....

I'm am so frigging nervous about this date I've got coming up.  I've already chosen three outfits and will just chuck on whatever I fancy in the morning but still!  I am so confused! Like do we hug when we say hello or something or do we air kiss or just shake hands?  I don't do this sort of shit.

I've never actually been taken on a date, like a proper date as in taken out for dinner or a night out.  I've been taken out for non-committal drinks before etc, but purrlease I go drinking with my nan, doesn't mean I'm dating her!    Am I supposed to be full on or reserved?  I hate this whole new phase where you're not sure of yourself or what to do, when to touch them or if you can kiss them etc.  I much prefer the comfortable, laying on the sofa with your hands down your pants, picking your nose with greasy hair and no makeup phase.    

I also have the tendenency to be clumsy as sin when I',m nervous.  When I met my brother for the first time I was so nervous I knocked an entire of table of drinks into his lap, and when I was meeting up with an old school friend I was striding confidently through the tube station in my heels only to stack it at the last second and literally fall at her feet.  There is no way of styling that one out, I also giggle like a stupid little school girl...

It's gonna be cray!  

Tata for now

Nimmy xxxx

Work: Vent

I really need a new job! I've finally figured out what I dislike about it so much its not the rude, pervy customers or the low pay. It's the fact I'm locked inside a counter all day!! Trapped in a box with bars in the window!!! 


Here's what its really like being a bookie! 


You walk in for your shift and usually wade in through a mountain of betting slips on the floor or trip over pens on the floor and fall flat on your ass (happened to me too many times). As you walk in you need to grin at the customers. I've got my fake smile down lol. I usually walk in beaming, saying Hi to everyone whilst actually thinking 'someone please get me out of here!!' You look at the floor and you rush behind the counter to try and deflect the gaze of several eyes on your ass and lock yourself into the cell, Sorry 'counter' and log into your till. 

Then its usually dead so you sit there drinking a cuppa, gassing with your manager and spinning around in your chair tapping your fingers. Then the customers descend upon you, like a plauge of horny locusts. And they all want your attention at once!!!

Seriously, do I look like an octopus? Can I really take 7 bets at once, listen about your kidney stones and make you a cuppa tea? NO. Some punters are nice and I'll go and sit out in the shop with them for a chat but most are just grim! 



You get the pervs and the drunkards who practicality jizz their pants every time a female comes into a shop and the plain rude people. The creeps who come up the counter and say things like 'Looking lovely as ever darling.  You just look radiant'. *cringe*   Some really rude bastards go in the bookies. My fave one is when they say 'oh I'm gonna kill you you've stolen my money I'll wait outside for you' yet when I skip out the shop at 10pm they're nowhere to be seen!

Some of my managers are scardey cats too. I'm talking fully grown men sitting there asking me, a tiny 5'5 teenager, to go out and calm these idiots who are hitting the machines and kicking off. I'm probably as authoritative and scary as a basket of kittens and newborn babies. 

I had a customer today start crying all over the counter because I wouldn't lend him money to bet. Then when he could see I wasn't budging he started following me round begging me to lend him cash. I was getting royally pissed off with him, there's only so many times you can politely ask someone to back the fuck off. A customer started squaring up to him telling him to get a grip and he scuttled off. It's not my bloody fault you're a gambling addict mate!! Ive seen people blow thousands in minutes. Their whole months wages gone on a 15 minute game of roulette. Makes me really uncomfortable! It's a bit girly of me but I get annoyed if I lose a pound let alone a months wages!!! 

Then you get the people who pass out drunk, wank in the shop (yes you did just read that), shoot up in the toilets and the ones who just start arguments for no reason!! A great example is the other day and some random bloke butted into my conversation and told me I pronounce Jamie wrong. Why would you even care how I said it? Get a life geez. 

He didn't like it when I turned round, smiled sweetly and said ' my dads called Jamie, my granddad is called Jamie, my best friend is called Jaime  my cousin is called Little Jamie, and for the first two days of my life I was actually called Jamie Jr (my mum came to her senses thankfully) . So I believe I'm perfectly fucking qualified to know how its pronounced!' He didn't like that one bit ;) 

The funniest thing I've seen this week was a drunk guy playing the machine and his money wouldn't go in and he started shouting 'your machines won't take my money, is it because I'm ginger?!' 

So anyway, the customers gradually leave and then you sit there for hours in mind numbing- spirit crushing boredom. Sound fun? It isn't.

Although I do love it when the football lads come in to see me and put their bets on. Nothing spices up a Saturday shift like a rowsing chorus of 'WOODS-G LOVES IT UP THE ARSE, WOODS-G LOVES IT IN THE EAR' etc etc lol.  Also the other cool customers make it nice, the ones who bring you chocolate and I have one customer who like sings with me to songs and when the managers out we blast the radio and have a singalong but I see him once in a blue moon.  My job is 90% shit and 10% ok, seriously.  I might train to be an astronaut or something 

FUCK YOU WORK.  

I never want to go back!  :'(

Help! I'm turning into a girl!

Women eh! I'm concerned for myself to be honest I'm acting all strange. I'm going on nights out with women, talking about my boobs and fashion sense openly with other chicks and been a bit hormonal.

I think I'm turning into a GIRL!!!!!!

I think this is the end of my ladette/football hooligan era and the start of a new girly one filled with glitter and stickers and Ponies. 

As a rule I do not tend to get on with girls. Just struggle to gel with them and make conversation, Im more of a boys girl because I find most women a bit bitchy and men are just more upfront. But I tell you what since I met two people my life has changed. Loz who I bogged about previously is self explanatory but my friend Holly is amazing! We actually bonded over our mutual dislike of bitchy women and then our mutual love of burning our way through a pack of fags and having a chat. It was weird being out with a girl last night, hugging, drinking wine, having dirty conversations, giving each other advice etc. Not gonna lie I'm not used to it but it was lovely all the same! 

I had such a nice time with her. 



Of course the subject of babies came up! Women always either talk about babies or men. Was nice to confide in someone about feeling broody and chat about hopes and dreams and stuff. I'm naturally a broody person and children seem to love me! I'm always that person in the corner at family gatherings surrounded by all the children and I love it! I think its funny how scared men get when a girl mentions they're broody, like it means we're going to suddenly tie them down and steal their sperm! Like I'm broody, have been since I was 15 but I'm not gonna try for a baby you know. I have common sense!!

 Babies are fantastic though and I'm lucky enough to be involved in a few babies lives. Im dreading if I ever have children and ending up one of those loveless couples that can barely even look at each other and are clearly just together for the kids. If I'm lucky enough to have children I want to be in a happy loving relationship so they see a healthy relationship because I grew up in a very broken family. But seeing as I'm nowhere near having one of my own yet, my little dude (godson) will keep me busy I'm sure! :) 

Talking of relationships is it naive of me to want a fairytale romance ? I want a handsome prince to come charging into the bookies on a white horse, fling me onto the back of it and then gallop off to a tropical island where we lie on the beach drinking WooWoos all day. 

Not really, I just want the fairytale in the sense of actually finding me one true love and being happy together forever. A relationship where I am his princess and not in a chavvy 'yuh r my princess bby' way. I'm talking about literally being the most important girl in his castle, treated like a princess and in return I would act like one.  

 I will write a blog later on about jailbreaking an iPhone and how to do it xxxx  

 Right, im going to love you and leave ya.

 I need to de-hangover myself because I'm going to Tunbridge Wells today for lunch and shopping with my mummy. 

Will be nice to spend some quality time together. 

 Peace, love and kisses 

Nimmy xxxx 

Crazy shit

Alright?

Last night was one of the most crazy experiences I've ever had on a spiritual level.  If you do not believe in Spiritualism or are about to go into a pro-science rant please bugger off.  I am in no mood for it, I have found out so much stuff about myself spiritually in the past two days and my head is swimming. 


 Any little signs I had before have turned into big great wacks in the face, energy that was a light buzz now takes over my whole body and I can feel other peoples emotions whom I'm connected to spiritually.  Make sense? Probably not.   Here's an example to display it to you clearly.  My house, a lot of feeling that something is there has now turned into corner of the eye stuff and something stroking my hair as I fell asleep last night.  I was on the phone to somebody I hold dear to me with whom I share a great spiritual connection and as I was laying there I realised I was feeling feelings that weren't mine.  The scariest part was when he got scared by something and my blood ran cold, I was petrified  my breathing changed and I was terrified too.  It was horrible because I was sat in my light  bright room surrounded by crystals and a soft energy YET I could feel what was going on in his room.  It's nice feeling others emotions when they're elated but the bad feelings are grim.  Ok so half of you are probably like 'damn, she knows' and the other half are probably on the phone to the men with white jackets.  



So Oracle cards.  I'm fed up of explaining that Oracle cards are NOT Tarot cards.  Here is a brief description of the difference:  http://kaerwynskorner.blogspot.co.uk/2010/01/tarot-cards-oracle-cards.html

So I have 5 decks of cards.  I only use one.  The others just don't feel right and this particular deck just makes me feel great.  It is important that you sort of connect with your deck. Usually when I use these cards I get feelings and tingles etc to guide me through my readings like a light dusting of energy.  Last night I was reading for someone and instead of gentle energy I was being almost beaten up by it.  Instead of the usual feeling to stop I was getting electric jolts up my spine, my tummy felt all tingly and I could almost feel bright gold light shining round me.  I felt so much good energy it was a bit cray cray (lol)  I actually felt euphoric as I was giving the reading, like I was a higher entity looking down flooding the room with light.  Ok I must sound either crazy or high to non-believers .  The answers coming were incredible, in chronological order as though telling a story and the cards decided to show me up and reveal some of my very personal thoughts and feelings about that person.  The Definitely Yes card kept flying out the pack along with Love and Trust in your own Feelings.  These cards rarely come out when I do readings normally.  It was mental, I can't even describe it.  I felt like I was floating on a Tempur mattress on the sea or something.



This Spiritualism/awakening lark is terrifying me.  I jump every time I hear a noise or see something.

Even though I'm all spiritually awakening etc now, it doesn't stop me being in a bad mood lol. I'm furious because the bar I go to has just changed it's policy to 21's and overs!!!!!!!!!! BASTARDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHERE THE HELL am I supposed to play beer pong/drunk Olympics dress up as super mario/hang out with Crawley Town footballers now?!  

I'm fed up of asking and trying and asking again just to either have it ignored or swept under the carpet or given another empty promise.  I don't know many times I have to explain it it just doesn't seem to be sinking in, then I get had a go at for giving up.  It's just messing with my head? Like wtf?!  I don't know what's wrong with me or what I'm quite obviously doing wrong?  I ask and then get fobbed off with a half arsed explanation.  It's starting to properly hurt my feelings. 

Anyway just a quick one, I needed to write!

Bathtime :)

Nimmy xxx