Love and Junk

I'm all warm and snug in work and what with it having been valentines day I thought I'd blog about the L word. 

I have this hope that there is someone in this world that was just made for me. A perfect match my 'soul mate' if you will. I believe that every person has a soul mate and the universe will bring you together somehow, but its up to you to make it happen. Spirit keeps suggesting one person to me and seems to be trying to gently jostle us together but its making me uncomfortable. 

My twin Tracey keeps telling me to approach things slowly and relax. I can't relax because I like to know where I stand with people. It's a defence mechanism. Like ripping a plaster off quickly. 

Sometimes I worry nobody will love me because let's face it, I'm damaged goods. I belong in the reduced aisle of Tesco rather then the new sparkly shelves. I've been treated like dirt by all my past boyfriends, not one has ever just been nice I've been sexually assaulted, cheated on, physically assaulted and controlled in the past. I'm just going to be open with that. Would it be possible to meet just one cool nice guy who doesn't have a dark side or an ego the size of London.

A Willy the size of London I can cope with but not a ego that size! Lol 

I miss having someone to do stuff with:
 I miss the closeness.
 The doing stuff togethern
 Getting comfortable with each other. 
Planning your future. 
Someone to rely on and take a load off. 
The support. 
The cuddles.
 The kissing. 
The sex . 
Sitting in comfortable silence
 Being in love and all sparkly eyed

 God I'm a lonely old cow! 


I miss laying in bed, watching tv together and chatting about stuff then falling asleep in their arms. I love doing that, like spooning to sleep lol. Then waking up in the morning and cuddling and chatting some more. I love cuddles. Then I will usually order them out of bed to make me a tea or if I'm feeling REALLY nice I jump out of bed and make them and then slide back into bed. I miss that the most. The worst part about being single is rolling around in a huge double bed and drowning in the duvet. The fact I'm quite small probably doesn't help either when it comes to suffocating in bed. 

 I often get referred to as the little/small one by most people. My favourite name is 'The tiny princess'. I get called that by a loads of people, I love it!! I wish I was a Disney princess with a tiger sidekick and a wicked storyline.

I'm looking to move and need to decide where. Work can transfer me anywhere I need so the UK is my oyster. Maybe I can be a bookie in Belfast, a Cashier in Cardiff, a deputy manager in Dublin... I've run out of bookmaking puns. I remember one night me and Tray sat there for hours making up things like 'anal aries and 'virginal Virgo' and all these other dirty puns.  

 I'm really struggling to write today. I suffer mildly with an attention deficit disorder and its making blogging impossible.  

Good night from me, and may you all find your soulmates and have happy loving relationships

 

Nimmy xxx 
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