Work: Vent

I really need a new job! I've finally figured out what I dislike about it so much its not the rude, pervy customers or the low pay. It's the fact I'm locked inside a counter all day!! Trapped in a box with bars in the window!!! 


Here's what its really like being a bookie! 


You walk in for your shift and usually wade in through a mountain of betting slips on the floor or trip over pens on the floor and fall flat on your ass (happened to me too many times). As you walk in you need to grin at the customers. I've got my fake smile down lol. I usually walk in beaming, saying Hi to everyone whilst actually thinking 'someone please get me out of here!!' You look at the floor and you rush behind the counter to try and deflect the gaze of several eyes on your ass and lock yourself into the cell, Sorry 'counter' and log into your till. 

Then its usually dead so you sit there drinking a cuppa, gassing with your manager and spinning around in your chair tapping your fingers. Then the customers descend upon you, like a plauge of horny locusts. And they all want your attention at once!!!

Seriously, do I look like an octopus? Can I really take 7 bets at once, listen about your kidney stones and make you a cuppa tea? NO. Some punters are nice and I'll go and sit out in the shop with them for a chat but most are just grim! 



You get the pervs and the drunkards who practicality jizz their pants every time a female comes into a shop and the plain rude people. The creeps who come up the counter and say things like 'Looking lovely as ever darling.  You just look radiant'. *cringe*   Some really rude bastards go in the bookies. My fave one is when they say 'oh I'm gonna kill you you've stolen my money I'll wait outside for you' yet when I skip out the shop at 10pm they're nowhere to be seen!

Some of my managers are scardey cats too. I'm talking fully grown men sitting there asking me, a tiny 5'5 teenager, to go out and calm these idiots who are hitting the machines and kicking off. I'm probably as authoritative and scary as a basket of kittens and newborn babies. 

I had a customer today start crying all over the counter because I wouldn't lend him money to bet. Then when he could see I wasn't budging he started following me round begging me to lend him cash. I was getting royally pissed off with him, there's only so many times you can politely ask someone to back the fuck off. A customer started squaring up to him telling him to get a grip and he scuttled off. It's not my bloody fault you're a gambling addict mate!! Ive seen people blow thousands in minutes. Their whole months wages gone on a 15 minute game of roulette. Makes me really uncomfortable! It's a bit girly of me but I get annoyed if I lose a pound let alone a months wages!!! 

Then you get the people who pass out drunk, wank in the shop (yes you did just read that), shoot up in the toilets and the ones who just start arguments for no reason!! A great example is the other day and some random bloke butted into my conversation and told me I pronounce Jamie wrong. Why would you even care how I said it? Get a life geez. 

He didn't like it when I turned round, smiled sweetly and said ' my dads called Jamie, my granddad is called Jamie, my best friend is called Jaime  my cousin is called Little Jamie, and for the first two days of my life I was actually called Jamie Jr (my mum came to her senses thankfully) . So I believe I'm perfectly fucking qualified to know how its pronounced!' He didn't like that one bit ;) 

The funniest thing I've seen this week was a drunk guy playing the machine and his money wouldn't go in and he started shouting 'your machines won't take my money, is it because I'm ginger?!' 

So anyway, the customers gradually leave and then you sit there for hours in mind numbing- spirit crushing boredom. Sound fun? It isn't.

Although I do love it when the football lads come in to see me and put their bets on. Nothing spices up a Saturday shift like a rowsing chorus of 'WOODS-G LOVES IT UP THE ARSE, WOODS-G LOVES IT IN THE EAR' etc etc lol.  Also the other cool customers make it nice, the ones who bring you chocolate and I have one customer who like sings with me to songs and when the managers out we blast the radio and have a singalong but I see him once in a blue moon.  My job is 90% shit and 10% ok, seriously.  I might train to be an astronaut or something 

FUCK YOU WORK.  

I never want to go back!  :'(